Dear Teacher, My child will no longer bring a smartphone to school.

You are now committed to a smartphone-free childhood. The next step? Send this letter to your school.

When I give talks, parents often say it’s too late to address the problems with teens and smartphones because the tech train has left the station, and the phone-based childhood is here to stay. Even if they decide to remove smartphones at home, parents explain that smartphones are required for school. They can’t envision overcoming this obstacle.

However, we've tackled significant challenges posed by cultural trends before, and I believe removing smartphones from schools is not as hard as you think. Let’s look to history for guidance, use education to raise awareness, and communicate our request to school leaders with kindness. 

Learning From the Past

Jumping headfirst into new cultural trends is common… Initially, the pendulum swings far from the center. 

Remember these?

• The days before car seats and seatbelts? Adults hated to wear seatbelts; they wrinkled our clothes, and we never dreamed that kids would sit still long enough to put them in a car seat. What a crazy idea.

• Cigarette Ads: Nicotine was advertised as a “calming” drug, great for asthma, and so healthy that doctors smoked.

• Drinking and driving: The public thought they had the right to drive even after a few drinks. 

We dove in with both feet! What could go wrong? 

A lot.

Those most affected voiced their concerns, but they were ignored until enough time, research, and tragedies highlighted the need for change. Eventually, the pendulum swung back to the center, and we realized our responsibility to make countercultural changes.

The Teen Smartphone Experiment

Teen smartphones are the latest cultural trend we have accepted without much consideration. We prematurely handed our kids smartphones and social media without thinking. What could go wrong?

Once again, a lot.

The teen smartphone experiment has failed, and we need to make changes before more harm is done. It's time to start the daunting task of reversing nearly a decade of damage from this poor decision.  

The First Two Steps for Change

Education and Awareness

The pendulum is swinging back to center because we are learning more about the issues that arise when teens have smartphones.  As we learned from seatbelts, smoking, and drunk driving, change starts with education and awareness. Without these, no one will have the fortitude and grit to deviate from the norm.  It's difficult to weather a storm without knowing the facts.

Community Support

Another lesson from our past is that change doesn’t happen without community support. When seatbelt use became widespread, it was much easier for people to accept this new behavior. Support groups were formed to help people quit smoking, and assigning a designated driver became the norm. Nowadays, calling a ride after a party is culturally accepted, and you no longer feel like an outsider for doing so. These practices became mainstream because we collectively stepped outside the box together.

Help your school. Don’t criticize them.

It’s easy to take a combative stance with our schools since this is a battle, and our kids’ lives are at stake. After all, some schools make the problem worse when they require smartphones, e.g. when a teacher asks students to take a picture of the assignment on the board. However, we can be bold without anger and be part of the school solution instead of adding to the conflict. 

Since talking with teachers and school administrators can be overwhelming, we have included a handy letter as a template to start the necessary conversations. First, let’s review a few tips for talking with your kids' teachers. 

Tips for talking with teachers and leaders about smartphone removal

Teachers and school administrators are exhausted trying hard to do the right thing, so approach this as a partnership from the beginning. 

Put yourself in their shoes and be kind, patient, and humble. Even just a few kind words can make a teacher’s year.

Begin your discussion with three things you love about what they are doing to support your child in the classroom and what you love about your school. Next, put together a thoughtful letter. Keep it upbeat. 

Finally, be a part of the solution by offering to help. Teachers can’t reverse the tide alone during the school day; support is needed. For example, offer to come in once a month to introduce a new board game to the class or run an art or music lesson. Not available during the day to help? Team up with other parents to run a Friday Fun Night (found in our Connect forum) for your class.  You want your school to see you as part of the solution, not as an angry, complaining parent. When you are part of the solution, everyone wins, most of all your children. 

Sample Letter Template

This letter can be sent to principals, teachers, resource teachers, therapists, academic counselors, coaches, etc. 

[Date]

Re: Ian

Dear Mr. Smith,

We are so thankful to be part of the Washington School community. We are very impressed with the warm welcome we received after moving into the district last year. We are also so pleased that you are Ian’s teacher. He has shared many positive things about you and especially enjoys your sense of humor in the classroom. Thank you so much for being such a bright spot in his day. 

This letter expresses our desires regarding Ian’s use of personal screens at school, specifically smartphones. 

As all kids do, Ian struggles with managing screen time in general, so we have decided to upgrade his smartphone to a basic phone that allows voice and text without an internet connection. This means that Ian will not have access to a personal smartphone at school, and we request your support for this decision during the school day.  

We know that Ian is not alone in his struggles. Our biggest concern is the rise in adolescent mental health problems associated with smartphone and social media use, as shown in the bestselling book The Anxious Generation. We are also sure you are aware that phones cause distractions in the classroom, cheating is easier on a smartphone, and texting with others during class is disrespectful to you.

We understand that some classes/teachers may use devices to turn in homework or communicate school activity schedules and updates. If a specific app is needed for communication, we will install it on our parent phones or laptops. We request that you rethink the use of any apps requiring student smartphones. We know it may cause inconvenience on your end, so please let us know how we can help. 

No private texting: We also would like to request that no teacher, coach, or any other adult from the school privately text or message our child for any reason. Any necessary communication can be emailed to our child, with us copied on the correspondence. 

Smartphone-free Lunch Periods: We would prefer that our children have screen-free lunches. We understand that this request extends beyond your classroom, perhaps you could mention this at the next staff meeting for school-wide consideration. A smartphone-free lunch period would benefit all students. Children need time to socialize and work on their communication skills. When students use phones and other screen devices during lunch, they miss out on important social interactions with friends. 

If you’re interested in more information about smartphone-free schools, ScreenStrong is a helpful and informative resource. We believe the trend is moving toward less smartphone and social media use for teens, and we want to stay ahead of the curve. 

Thank you in advance for your attention to this request. We appreciate your willingness to partner with us. We do not wish for any of these requests to be an extra burden for you, so let us know how we can support you.

Please email us with questions or ideas about how we can practically help. My husband or I can be available on Tuesdays or Thursdays during lunch if you want us to help start a Chess Club or board game club for the class.  Our goal is to support you in any way we can. 

Thank you again for your time and consideration; we look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,

[Name of Parents]

Stand up for your kids

When we look back, we shake our heads in disbelief that there was a day when kids jumped around the back of the station wagon without car seats, that doctors used to smoke (and we even promoted smoking to teens by building smoking patios in schools and offering filters on cigarettes), or that drinking and driving was so accepted and common. 

The day is approaching when we will look back with disbelief that we ever allowed teenagers to use smartphones and social media during the school day. The good news? It’s not difficult to start raising awareness. Let’s work together with our school communities to make a positive change. Stand up for your kids and start making a difference by rediscovering the benefits of smartphone-free days at school!

To learn more about screens and schools, listen to these podcast episodes:

• How Screens Are Changing The Social and Academic Culture For Students with Joe Clement

• Tips On How To Create A ScreenStrong Classroom with Dory Sutmiller

• Why Screens Are Failing Students And Frustrating Teachers with Matt Miles

Melanie Hempe, BSN, is the founder of ScreenStrong, a nonprofit organization, and the author of the Kid’s Brains and Screens course series for students and parents. She is dedicated to preventing and reversing childhood screen addictions by providing scientific evidence and community for families around the globe. Her educational material is filled with everything she wished she had known before her oldest child suffered from a screen addiction. ScreenStrong has created what every family needs—education and the community—to skip toxic screens through adolescence so that teens can reach their full potential. Visit ScreenStrongSolutions.com for educational material and ScreenStrong.org to learn more and join the community that is saving childhood.