Screen Myths to Ditch in the New Year
The 4 myths that fuel most screen conflicts.
No matter how old I get, there is something almost magical about a new year. The slate is wiped clean, and we have nothing in front of us but 12 months full of possibilities. And if you are like so many families I talk to, you are hoping that 2025 is the year you finally resolve the screen conflicts in your home and enjoy the peace and family connection that has always felt so elusive (or even like a downright fairy tale!).
I’m here to tell you that kind of family culture is real. And it’s possible for every parent—yes, even you—who is willing to put in the hard work and eliminate toxic screen use in their home.
Before you remove the screens, though, here’s my biggest piece of advice: adopt the right mindset.
There’s a reason we call it ScreenStrong. This process requires incredible mental strength and resolve, especially in those first two weeks. The thought of taking away screens and enduring even more conflict in your home, no matter how short-lived, can be exhausting. In these moments, parents can often talk themselves out of doing the hard but necessary work by buying into common screen myths.
Here are four common myths I hear from parents. These misbeliefs can derail your efforts for screen peace in this new year. So take a look and see if you have ever gotten trapped behind one of these; many parents do.
Myth 1: Balance and moderation is the key to good screen health.
This is the myth that I believed years ago. Trust me when I say it does not work.
We tend to think that everything is good in moderation. The idea of balance sounds reasonable and applies well to things like nutrition, exercise, and building healthy habits. We should balance nutritious food with the occasional treat to create a sustainable lifestyle.
However, we can all agree that we should not seek to balance things that are not good for us or are not age-appropriate.
An alcoholic should not try to moderate alcohol consumption, nor should we give alcohol to our kids and moderate its consumption. Sex is great between consenting adults, but it’s inappropriate for kids. They are not physically or emotionally ready for it.
It is the same with smartphones and most video games. Putting the issue of content aside, our children’s brains are not developmentally ready to moderate smartphone use, and persuasive design makes it impossible for them to do so.
We used to believe smoking was okay, and almost everyone did it. We now know smoking is terrible for us. It takes a strong parent to oppose the culture of balance in all things. Listen to common sense. We want to balance and moderate the good stuff but not the bad. The research is clear on which category video games, smartphones, and kids fall into.
Myth 2: Parental Controls will help me stay on top of my child’s screen use.
This is the time of year when parents put up chore charts, put out swear jars, and vow to make their kids help cook family meals. These are all great ideas, but as any seasoned parent will tell you, most of us give up on these strategies because they become too hard to manage daily.
It is the same with parental controls. Unless you plan to follow your child around the house and sit on their shoulder, you will not be able to monitor all of their screen activities, especially if you have more than one child in the house. Unlike the swear jar that you stopped putting money into, unmonitored screen use can lead to serious, real-world consequences, with increased rates of anxiety and depression only being the tip of the iceberg.
Instead of setting up yourself and your kids to fail, take the easier path and don’t hand toxic screens over to your child in the first place. If you have already given your children access to these screens, take them away cold turkey. As my once screen-addicted son will tell you, cold turkey really is the easiest and kindest option for everyone.
Myth 3: Screen time isn’t that bad. My child will be okay.
I am all for a bit of optimism in the new year, but let me be clear about screens: if your parent instincts tell you screens are a problem, they are. If you have been telling yourself screen conflicts and issues are “normal,” they are not. Screen issues are serious. They start cute and slow, and then they grow out of control.
Take it from Dr. Laura Markham, best-selling author and founder of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. She writes, “The earlier we introduce screens, the more it affects the child’s brain development and the more likely they will have trouble managing their addiction to screens and technology later in life.” This can lead to social issues, mental health challenges, and overall failure to launch.
Again, this is not hypothetical. This is devastating to a growing number of families. I know from experience. I thought my oldest son would outgrow his video games when he went to college. He didn’t. He ended up failing out after his first year.
Screen problems are serious. Recognize your optimism bias and overcome it.
Myth 4: My kids are mature enough to handle it now.
The truth is that just because you see a glimpse of mature behavior in your child does not mean they are mature enough for access 24/7. Time and again, I hear parents ask, “My child changed the cat box yesterday, did their homework without asking, or performed another (mature) task without being reminded. Aren’t they ready for a smartphone?” No. This is helpful behavior but certainly not evidence of a mature brain.
Your child may have more pieces of the puzzle in place, but the entire puzzle is not yet complete. Your child is intelligent but not yet mature. Maturity takes time. Their brains are not fully connected until they are about 25 years old, and until then, they will take one step forward and two steps back.
There is nothing you can do to speed up maturity, though there are things you can do to stunt its development, like allowing your child to spend hours a day immersed in a screen culture that does not align with your family values. Yes, your child may show some signs of maturity, but they are not ready for screen activities that even most adults struggle with.
I understand that it might feel daunting to make significant changes, but I promise you this: if there were a simpler or more effective way to resolve screen conflicts without eliminating smartphones and video games, I would share it with you. After facing screen addiction in my own family and working with tens of thousands of families over the past decade, I can confidently say that the ScreenStrong solution is the most practical and impactful approach. While the process may be challenging initially, the benefits for your child’s well-being and your family’s connection are immeasurable. And you don’t have to do it alone—we have resources and support to guide you every step of the way.
This New Year, don’t let screen battles discourage you. Instead, feel empowered to regain control and create a healthier, happier home. Make this the year you win the screen battle for good!
Our Connect Plus group is $14.99/month. Join for a month or stay for the year and enjoy access to our complete educational library, including recorded webinars with leading screen experts, e-books, and our 30-Day Detox. Our Family Bundle is perfect for getting your kids on board.
ScreenStrong Resources
Podcast - “Busting Screen Myths in the New Year with Dr. Adriana Stacy”
Podcast - “Your Teen WILL Have Friends Without A Smartphone. Just Ask My Homecoming Queen.”
Melanie Hempe, BSN, is the founder of ScreenStrong, a nonprofit organization, and the author of the Kids’ Brains and Screens Series for students and parents. She is dedicated to preventing and reversing childhood screen addictions by providing scientific evidence and community for families around the globe. Her educational material is filled with everything she wished she had known before her oldest child suffered from a screen addiction. ScreenStrong has created what every family needs—education and the community—to skip toxic screens through adolescence so teens can reach their full potential.
Visit here for family resource materials and here for our Phone-Free Schools Guide, and visit ScreenStrong.org to learn more and join the community that is saving childhood.