Wow, Melanie pulls no punches as she candidly relives her trauma, "blindness" and optimistic attitude, "not my son".
This is a must read for ALL Parents, Grandparents, and Guardians. I am going to ask her permission to display this on our website, ParentDigitalAnswers.org
I lost my son to suicide by cyberbullying. None of us to see that happen to your youth. Take Melanie's course.
Everyone knows families that are unaware.
Just Do It. One of the most important decisions you will ever make.
Very helpful testimony. 🎮🕹️😵 VID GAMES have sucked the life out of so many young people. The slow creep morphs into the snowball rolling towards the cliff. Big BUCK$ involved in the marketing and keeping kids involved with their screens; wallets 💸 and ⏰ hours fall into the abyss. Sad seeing adult men with kids playing online games instead of reading books to their children. 🇺🇲 🇯🇵 🇦🇺 🇨🇳 🇪🇺 None of our families are immune, Semper Fortis!
Fortunately, the vast majority of gamers do not develop a problem with gaming, anecdotal evidence aside. It's really all about balance and moderation, as Aristotle knew. So let's not throw out the proverbial baby with the bathwater now.
I do think there are interesting points here, and like many parents I worry about screens and their impact, but I will add that I ‘lost’ HUGE swathes of time about 30 years ago in my teens playing CIV II and SIM City 2000 on my dad’s work computer to an extent where I’m sure I looked addicted to an outside observer. Like I’d stay up late and get up early to play(though I never let it impact my schoolwork, and got great A Level results). But when I’d played both games a few times taking different approaches, and ‘won’ / ‘lost’ in a few different ways, that was it, I was done and satisfied. I do have great memories of 1995. Underage drinking with pals in pubs that turned a blind eye (only underage by a year I hasten to add, as the legal age of drinking in the uk is 18), going to the alternative shopping centre in Liverpool with goth-ish mates, getting some amazing sci-fi books out of the library, watching The Big Breakfast every morning in the sixth form common room, discovering lemon tea, dying my hair bright red, and, yes, playing two massive computer games until I got dark circles on my eyes. I certainly don’t have any regrets about it. (I actually learnt some history from Civ II as well!)
I’ve never got into computer games again in quite the same way, though I’ve played a few, including phone games, though even there, not for over a decade now. I think, though, that social media is worse than any kind of video game. Neither of my kids are massively into games, though my eldest went through a big x-box phase during covid lockdowns as there weren’t many other ways to interact with chums at the time. They’d play a game together and stage a multiple video call simultaneously. I actually thought it was rather ingenious. They’d have got into trouble if they’d gone for a footie kick about in the park, but this was not so far off that. My youngest doesn’t get much screen time (she’s seven) and isn’t keen on video games as she finds them stressful, though has occasionally played with her much bigger brother.
Agree with the commenter below who suggests ‘not throwing out the baby with the bathwater’. Sometimes getting to the bottom of exactly what the kid is getting out of the video game is useful, too. I think, for me, it was the sense of achievement from ‘beating’ two fiendishly difficult games. Once I’d done it, I was done.
"Every family today faces a tornado of digital technology in childhood; there is no escape. But not every family has to be swept away by it." Thank you for naming it Melanie and not shying away from the harsh truths of parenting in a digital age. I appreciate your work.
I was a heavy videogame user and still became a thriving adult - HOWEVER, that doesn't mean it didn't affect me negatively. Looking back i think it set me back socially.
I struggled making friendships and felt socially stunted. I think if I had limited my playtime it would have helped in that regard.
It did bring me benefits also: since I mostly played RPGs and story based games, it helped me learn English as a Venezuelan immigrant.
In the end was saved me and brought balance to my life was enrolling in high school sports starting my sophomore year.
Wow, Melanie pulls no punches as she candidly relives her trauma, "blindness" and optimistic attitude, "not my son".
This is a must read for ALL Parents, Grandparents, and Guardians. I am going to ask her permission to display this on our website, ParentDigitalAnswers.org
I lost my son to suicide by cyberbullying. None of us to see that happen to your youth. Take Melanie's course.
Everyone knows families that are unaware.
Just Do It. One of the most important decisions you will ever make.
Jeff Griggs. Jeff@ParentDA.org
Very helpful testimony. 🎮🕹️😵 VID GAMES have sucked the life out of so many young people. The slow creep morphs into the snowball rolling towards the cliff. Big BUCK$ involved in the marketing and keeping kids involved with their screens; wallets 💸 and ⏰ hours fall into the abyss. Sad seeing adult men with kids playing online games instead of reading books to their children. 🇺🇲 🇯🇵 🇦🇺 🇨🇳 🇪🇺 None of our families are immune, Semper Fortis!
Fortunately, the vast majority of gamers do not develop a problem with gaming, anecdotal evidence aside. It's really all about balance and moderation, as Aristotle knew. So let's not throw out the proverbial baby with the bathwater now.
I do think there are interesting points here, and like many parents I worry about screens and their impact, but I will add that I ‘lost’ HUGE swathes of time about 30 years ago in my teens playing CIV II and SIM City 2000 on my dad’s work computer to an extent where I’m sure I looked addicted to an outside observer. Like I’d stay up late and get up early to play(though I never let it impact my schoolwork, and got great A Level results). But when I’d played both games a few times taking different approaches, and ‘won’ / ‘lost’ in a few different ways, that was it, I was done and satisfied. I do have great memories of 1995. Underage drinking with pals in pubs that turned a blind eye (only underage by a year I hasten to add, as the legal age of drinking in the uk is 18), going to the alternative shopping centre in Liverpool with goth-ish mates, getting some amazing sci-fi books out of the library, watching The Big Breakfast every morning in the sixth form common room, discovering lemon tea, dying my hair bright red, and, yes, playing two massive computer games until I got dark circles on my eyes. I certainly don’t have any regrets about it. (I actually learnt some history from Civ II as well!)
I’ve never got into computer games again in quite the same way, though I’ve played a few, including phone games, though even there, not for over a decade now. I think, though, that social media is worse than any kind of video game. Neither of my kids are massively into games, though my eldest went through a big x-box phase during covid lockdowns as there weren’t many other ways to interact with chums at the time. They’d play a game together and stage a multiple video call simultaneously. I actually thought it was rather ingenious. They’d have got into trouble if they’d gone for a footie kick about in the park, but this was not so far off that. My youngest doesn’t get much screen time (she’s seven) and isn’t keen on video games as she finds them stressful, though has occasionally played with her much bigger brother.
Agree with the commenter below who suggests ‘not throwing out the baby with the bathwater’. Sometimes getting to the bottom of exactly what the kid is getting out of the video game is useful, too. I think, for me, it was the sense of achievement from ‘beating’ two fiendishly difficult games. Once I’d done it, I was done.
"Every family today faces a tornado of digital technology in childhood; there is no escape. But not every family has to be swept away by it." Thank you for naming it Melanie and not shying away from the harsh truths of parenting in a digital age. I appreciate your work.
I was a heavy videogame user and still became a thriving adult - HOWEVER, that doesn't mean it didn't affect me negatively. Looking back i think it set me back socially.
I struggled making friendships and felt socially stunted. I think if I had limited my playtime it would have helped in that regard.
It did bring me benefits also: since I mostly played RPGs and story based games, it helped me learn English as a Venezuelan immigrant.
In the end was saved me and brought balance to my life was enrolling in high school sports starting my sophomore year.