Keep Screens From Stealing Your Holiday
Ideas to swap toxic screen use for family togetherness this season
We’ve been talking a lot about toys and gifts these past few weeks, both on our Substack and our ScreenStrong Families podcast. But, of course, gifts do not embody the true meaning or joy of the holiday season. It’s about warmth, love, and family togetherness, and every year, we as parents have high hopes for finally achieving that storybook Christmas. Yet something always seems to get in the way. At ScreenStrong, we can tell you exactly what it is: screens. Your children’s screen habits are stealing the Christmas joy you have been longing for.
It starts in the car when you pick up your kids from school on that last day that marks the start of Christmas break. Christmas music is playing on the radio, lights are twinkling in the houses, the air is filled with the promise of what’s to come—and then, a noise. It’s your tween son wailing from the back, “Can we play Fortnite when we get home?” which causes your eight-year-old to quickly rebut, “I want to play Minecraft, not Fortnite! It’s my turn to choose!” Not to be left out, your middle school-aged daughter asks, “Mom, can I download TikTok over break? Taylor’s mom is letting her get it.”
Suddenly the mood shifts. The cheery music now seems irritating. You hit the mute button. It’s only been one minute since your children clambered into the car, and already the anxiety about what life in your house will be like these next few weeks begins to grow. Instead of looking forward to time at home with your family, you think to yourself, “How will I get through this?”
The battle of the screens has officially begun
No sooner do you step into the house than your children dash off to their preferred screen of choice, not to be seen or heard from until dinner. The cookies you planned to make together after school will go unbaked. Unless, of course, you bake them yourself.
That’s how it is with screen time. It will always trump making Christmas cookies, taking family photos, or decorating the tree. It will always be more important to your children than planning a party, shopping for presents, or even spending time with Grandpa playing chess. Every Christmas moment of togetherness becomes a chore to be done in order to get back to their nearest screen. That’s just how these apps and games are designed.
You admit to yourself that you should have thrown all the screens out the window long ago. Alone and isolated, you feel as if you are the only one dealing with these issues. The screens are invading and morphing your family life into something unrecognizable and undesirable.
How do your friends deal with this? You imagine setting and enforcing screen limits are easy for everyone but you. In fact, the thought of keeping track of everyone’s allotted screen time over break sends a shudder down your spine. Why couldn’t your kids just want dolls and Legos for Christmas like they used to instead of gaming consoles and smartphones? You never had to set time limits on those.
Why we bend our screen rules at Christmas
Why do screens seem to dictate our time during the holidays? What is it about screen time that smothers our Christmas spirit?
The first thing that occurs is that we, as parents, let our guard down. After all, it’s Christmas vacation, right? And vacations mean that everyone should be allowed to do what they want.
Holidays and vacations are triggers for bad habits like overeating, overindulging, and overconsumption of screen entertainment. Rules are relaxed, and structure is gone, along with bedtimes, healthy meals, and sensible rules. We also fall into the trap of thinking that our kids, because they are on break and have worked so hard, deserve more screen time. Besides, that’s what they want, anyway, and isn’t Christmas about getting our kids what they want?
Let’s not forget that we believe that we deserve a break, too. And screens seemingly make for the best (free) babysitters. Why not throw caution to the wind and give in to the screen pressures of the season? It’s certainly better than arguing about screen limits or listening to them nag.
One simple choice can make all the difference
Is it possible to do the Christmas break without distracting screens? Could this be the Christmas that you choose to start that new tradition? Maybe, just maybe, this is the moment when you decide to take a stand and eliminate video games, smartphones, and social media from your kids’ holiday agendas.
As you stand there in that quiet kitchen, you realize you do have the power to reclaim Christmas and remove the screen distractions. You muster up courage from the depths of your soul and you make your way to each of your children. You gently pull the screens from their hands and whisper, “Meet me in the living room.” They stare at you, stunned, not quite understanding what is going on.
Slowly your children begin to cry, whine, complain, and, yes, even yell as they drag their defeated little bodies to the living room couch, but you have a newfound confidence, a complete resolve.
You sit them all down, you take a deep breath, and you gently explain to them that this Christmas will be different. This Christmas will be about family; it will be about them, not screens. It will be about trading a false sense of “screen peace” for real peace and family memories.
How to beat the screen blues during Christmas
If this story resonates with you, as it has with so many other parents, we encourage you to take action and make a change. When you remove the screens, you will discover a myriad of opportunities for great family time, like:
Getting outdoors together. Physical activity is, bar none, the best way to get over the withdrawal your kids will certainly undergo when not having access to screens. The adrenaline, vitamin D, and serotonin that will rush through their bodies will begin the actual physiological process of healing and repairing.
Playing board games. There is nothing like a good family game night to bring laughter, healthy competition, and teamwork around the dining room table. They may complain at first, but eventually, the complaints will turn to laughter and guffaws as you set out to just have silly fun. Set out a 1,000-piece puzzle in the den for another fun bonding activity.
Reading aloud. This is great with smaller children but do not discount the older ones. Reading books together can and should become a great family tradition throughout the year. Choose classics like A Christmas Carol, Little Women, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, or The Polar Express. This is a great way to spend time together, sitting around a fire with hot chocolate in hand and a blanket to snuggle under. You can also have your older children read to your smaller ones or even choose an audio book you can all listen to. And don’t forget to leave a new book for every person under the tree to open on Christmas morning.
Baking, baking, baking! Who doesn’t like baking during the holidays? Yes, you may put on a few pounds, but you can lose those once the New Year rolls around. Bake for your neighbors, your family members, the mail carrier, and the UPS guy who will be delivering all those non-tech gifts this season. Think of all the wonderful people you take for granted throughout the year and how you can take the time to thank them now. Start drawing your children out of their virtual worlds and into the kitchen.
Visiting relatives and neighbors. Take that four- to five-hour trek across your state or even cross state lines to visit family or friends you haven’t seen in a while. Serve at a local soup kitchen or food pantry. With all that recovered screen time, you will have the opportunity to do this. If you can’t get to a soup kitchen, your kids can take cards and crafts to the local nursing home. Giving doesn’t just equate to things wrapped in bright paper. Giving is so much more. Lessons can be learned from all these activities, and a great lesson in giving up screen time is that we gain time. Show your children the value of spending real-life time, not only virtual time, with others.
This is the year!
You can look back on Christmas 2024 as the time when everything in your family changed for the better, and ScreenStrong can help.
Our 2024 Gift Guide features hundreds of gift ideas that will keep kids of all ages entertained and families connected this winter break, and our Connect group will allow you to chat with like-minded families who are also rethinking screens this holiday season.
When you join our free Connect group, for a limited time, you will also have access to our 7-Day Detox. So many families have told us that the Christmas break was the perfect time to do the Detox and helped launch them into a New Year free of toxic screens—and the arguments that come with them.
ScreenStrong Resources
Podcast—“Twisted Truth: When Innocent Holiday Screen Time Becomes A Trap with Dr. Adriana Stacy”
Podcast—“Why Give Real Toys During the Holiday Season with Liz Breen”
Melanie Hempe, BSN, is the founder of ScreenStrong, a nonprofit organization, and the author of the Kids’ Brains and Screens Series for students and parents. She is dedicated to preventing and reversing childhood screen addictions by providing scientific evidence and community for families around the globe. Her educational material is filled with everything she wished she had known before her oldest child suffered from a screen addiction. ScreenStrong has created what every family needs—education and the community—to skip toxic screens through adolescence so teens can reach their full potential.
Visit here for family resource materials and here for our Phone-Free Schools Guide, and visit ScreenStrong.org to learn more and join the community that is saving childhood.