We let our kids use platforms filled with “porn” good old harmless “porn”. Every one forgets sex is kind of a big deal when you’re a teenager. Telling them it’s not a big deal is gaslighting. It is a big deal.
This story is heartbreaking. We talk about this often in our home. While our children do not have access to the internet on their cellphones (we use Pinwheel), their friends do. Our hope is to help educate them and hopefully they can help educate and serve peers and be a "safe" friend to help in a time of need. I pray this all just stops. Our future generation needs us to step it up. Great article, thank you for posting the truth!
This is at least the third story I've read like this. The internet is not a playground for teenagers. Parents need to know the truth. Thanks for your writing as always, Melanie.
I give seminars to homeschool parents about this exact subject. I want to second everything Brian Montgomery says here. My list of action items at the end of my presentation (to be done in order):
* Move computers to public places
* All devices with M&D at night
* Password protect your WiFi
* Passwords on your devices
* Limited/no data plans for phones
* Airgap all laptops (no network access at all)
* Setup non-admin accounts on PCs
* Install filter software
The rules I give for smartphones:
<14: no smartphone
14-16: no phone or at least no data plan (RedPocket, Tello, Ultra all have these)
16+: limited data plan (same providers offer <200MB/mo plans)
Social media:
<16: social media blocked at filter software
16+: Lurking only. No profile or at least no posting.
He says they don’t care if it’s a 48 year old or a 16 year old. Are you out of your damn mind? They’d trade a thousand 48 year olds to get one 16 year old. After all you’ve been through you still don’t get it. Unreal. They’re targeting your kids with “ porn” they can’t not look at. They took your son and you’re still this naive. He’s the target. He’s the target. He’s the target. Google and these social media companies don’t give a shit about 48 year olds. They want your teen son.
Where are grownups’ priorities? We have massive crises documented by the CDC, Administration on Children and Families, etc., of tens of millions of children and teenagers psychologically, violently, and sexually abused by parents and adult caretakers, driving depression, suicide attempts, self-harm, and seriously risky behaviors. All to utter silence on dozens of these sites.
Teens do encounter depraved porn and some are sextorted online, problems usually manageable by hitting the <delete>, <block sender>, and related tabs. However, children and teens cannot deal with real-life violent, sexual, and emotionally abusive adults in their homes – and churches, youth organizations, schools, sports, law enforcement, etc. – which teens report to CDC surveys and ACF investigators substantiate in alarming numbers.
Here’s a bombshell directly from the CDC’s 2023 survey of 20,000 teens I’d love to see seriously confronted: of the 12% of teens who report being cyberbullied (loudly deplored), 84% of those SAME teens ALSO report being psychologically and violently abused by parents and adults in their homes (silence). Cyberbullying is just fallout from much more common, damaging abuse by adults at home.
Today’s teenage “mental health crisis” isn’t solvable by lawmakers and parents “talking” or “setting limits” for teens. In fact, teens would be better off if adults were prohibited from interfering with online use, given CDC findings that abused and depressed younger girls who frequently use social media are less likely to attempt suicide or harm themselves. Rather, we need loud campaigns to confront the widespread abuses, mental health problems, drug/alcohol abuse, and criminal behaviors grownups are imposing on kids.
(You’ve heard the constant lament: “Guns are the leading cause of death among America’s children and teenagers”. What do FBI murderer-victim tabulations show is the biggest thing adults can do to change this tragic reality? Stop shooting kids.)
Do we grownups today care about kids enough to engage harsh introspections? So far, we’d rather blame teens themselves, their peers, their “culture,” their “social media” – easy, feel-good ways out.
We let our kids use platforms filled with “porn” good old harmless “porn”. Every one forgets sex is kind of a big deal when you’re a teenager. Telling them it’s not a big deal is gaslighting. It is a big deal.
Excellent cautionary piece of writing about a truly tragic death, Melanie.
This story is heartbreaking. We talk about this often in our home. While our children do not have access to the internet on their cellphones (we use Pinwheel), their friends do. Our hope is to help educate them and hopefully they can help educate and serve peers and be a "safe" friend to help in a time of need. I pray this all just stops. Our future generation needs us to step it up. Great article, thank you for posting the truth!
This is at least the third story I've read like this. The internet is not a playground for teenagers. Parents need to know the truth. Thanks for your writing as always, Melanie.
I give seminars to homeschool parents about this exact subject. I want to second everything Brian Montgomery says here. My list of action items at the end of my presentation (to be done in order):
* Move computers to public places
* All devices with M&D at night
* Password protect your WiFi
* Passwords on your devices
* Limited/no data plans for phones
* Airgap all laptops (no network access at all)
* Setup non-admin accounts on PCs
* Install filter software
The rules I give for smartphones:
<14: no smartphone
14-16: no phone or at least no data plan (RedPocket, Tello, Ultra all have these)
16+: limited data plan (same providers offer <200MB/mo plans)
Social media:
<16: social media blocked at filter software
16+: Lurking only. No profile or at least no posting.
Please take this seriously.
He says they don’t care if it’s a 48 year old or a 16 year old. Are you out of your damn mind? They’d trade a thousand 48 year olds to get one 16 year old. After all you’ve been through you still don’t get it. Unreal. They’re targeting your kids with “ porn” they can’t not look at. They took your son and you’re still this naive. He’s the target. He’s the target. He’s the target. Google and these social media companies don’t give a shit about 48 year olds. They want your teen son.
Where are grownups’ priorities? We have massive crises documented by the CDC, Administration on Children and Families, etc., of tens of millions of children and teenagers psychologically, violently, and sexually abused by parents and adult caretakers, driving depression, suicide attempts, self-harm, and seriously risky behaviors. All to utter silence on dozens of these sites.
Teens do encounter depraved porn and some are sextorted online, problems usually manageable by hitting the <delete>, <block sender>, and related tabs. However, children and teens cannot deal with real-life violent, sexual, and emotionally abusive adults in their homes – and churches, youth organizations, schools, sports, law enforcement, etc. – which teens report to CDC surveys and ACF investigators substantiate in alarming numbers.
Here’s a bombshell directly from the CDC’s 2023 survey of 20,000 teens I’d love to see seriously confronted: of the 12% of teens who report being cyberbullied (loudly deplored), 84% of those SAME teens ALSO report being psychologically and violently abused by parents and adults in their homes (silence). Cyberbullying is just fallout from much more common, damaging abuse by adults at home.
Today’s teenage “mental health crisis” isn’t solvable by lawmakers and parents “talking” or “setting limits” for teens. In fact, teens would be better off if adults were prohibited from interfering with online use, given CDC findings that abused and depressed younger girls who frequently use social media are less likely to attempt suicide or harm themselves. Rather, we need loud campaigns to confront the widespread abuses, mental health problems, drug/alcohol abuse, and criminal behaviors grownups are imposing on kids.
(You’ve heard the constant lament: “Guns are the leading cause of death among America’s children and teenagers”. What do FBI murderer-victim tabulations show is the biggest thing adults can do to change this tragic reality? Stop shooting kids.)
Do we grownups today care about kids enough to engage harsh introspections? So far, we’d rather blame teens themselves, their peers, their “culture,” their “social media” – easy, feel-good ways out.