My takeaway is that a child becomes what they do…if all they do is screen play it can lead to a boring, sad, self absorbed and unproductive life. There’s a big world out there! It is important to connect with your kids and allow them to develop and flourish interests…not just get sucked into the screen world that can lead to some pretty dark places. Always enjoy your posts Melanie!
When I was little, my parents had almost no screen policy. My dad (rightfully) thought that tv was dangerous for our brains and allowed tv only on Sundays and sometimes but very limited during weekdays. We played outside and had wonderful childhood. Yet, we missed watching tv and felt excluded when kids in school discussed favorite shows. Over time, I started resenting my father. I would lie that I play with friends and would watch tv at thier house. I remeber even getting up at 4am to secretly watch my favorite spy show. I would turn on tv and hide behide huge wardrobe so if my parents walked in to living room, they would not be able to see anyone and would think that my dad tv accidentally forgot to turn off tv at bedtime (he watched tv every night). I am a parent now my self. None of my 5 sibilings have same rules around screen time as our parents. I trully did binge tv after I moved out. Today, I do accept the idea that screens can be harmful to children and my children also have limited exposure to screens. We talk a lot about harm of the screen but do allow kids to watch fav shows after school, chores, reading, playing outside is completed. And I stand with my own example that no tv policies can lead to binge watching in adulthood and lies and deception in childhood.
Thanks for sharing your story—it's always helpful to hear different experiences. You bring up the common “forbidden fruit” idea, but I’d suggest that not all limits lead to rebellion, especially when they’re grounded in strong relationships and good information.
TV is definitely a more passive screen compared to today’s interactive, immersive tech like video games and social media. These newer platforms are designed to be addictive in ways that TV never was. And I wonder—did you binge other things your parents restricted, or was it just the TV? Often, when boundaries are explained and modeled with love, they actually help kids build self-control rather than create long-term cravings.
We’ve seen that when kids understand why something is limited and are given meaningful alternatives, they don’t just wait to rebel—they often thrive.
We don't have a TV in our house, but I think it's helped that family movie nights, either with dvds we order or with a streaming option, are a time of connection and fun together. As parents, we pretty much never watch anything without our children. So unlike your dad watching it but not letting you, we are including them whenever we watch something. I think that makes a big difference.
Great that you are explaining it to your kids, that’s a critical piece in all of this. And some screen time is okay, as long as they have other interests and hobbies that they are more interested in than the screens.
Yes! Adolescence is a time of critical brain development, and the adolescent brain is more vulnerable to the impact of drugs, alcohol, AND other addictions. 90% of Americans who are currently addicted started smoking, drinking, or using drugs before age 18. This (link) is a good read, too. All addictions follow the same pathway in the brain. https://time.com/archive/7141160/teens-and-drugs-rite-of-passage-or-recipe-for-addiction/
My takeaway is that a child becomes what they do…if all they do is screen play it can lead to a boring, sad, self absorbed and unproductive life. There’s a big world out there! It is important to connect with your kids and allow them to develop and flourish interests…not just get sucked into the screen world that can lead to some pretty dark places. Always enjoy your posts Melanie!
So good, Melanie! Thank you for sharing this vital message!
Melanie, thanx for highlighting how important your relationship with your child is in this issue, Tim
Tim, thanks for the meaningful comment! I hope more parents will understand that when you have a connected family, screens can't ruin things!
When I was little, my parents had almost no screen policy. My dad (rightfully) thought that tv was dangerous for our brains and allowed tv only on Sundays and sometimes but very limited during weekdays. We played outside and had wonderful childhood. Yet, we missed watching tv and felt excluded when kids in school discussed favorite shows. Over time, I started resenting my father. I would lie that I play with friends and would watch tv at thier house. I remeber even getting up at 4am to secretly watch my favorite spy show. I would turn on tv and hide behide huge wardrobe so if my parents walked in to living room, they would not be able to see anyone and would think that my dad tv accidentally forgot to turn off tv at bedtime (he watched tv every night). I am a parent now my self. None of my 5 sibilings have same rules around screen time as our parents. I trully did binge tv after I moved out. Today, I do accept the idea that screens can be harmful to children and my children also have limited exposure to screens. We talk a lot about harm of the screen but do allow kids to watch fav shows after school, chores, reading, playing outside is completed. And I stand with my own example that no tv policies can lead to binge watching in adulthood and lies and deception in childhood.
Thanks for sharing your story—it's always helpful to hear different experiences. You bring up the common “forbidden fruit” idea, but I’d suggest that not all limits lead to rebellion, especially when they’re grounded in strong relationships and good information.
TV is definitely a more passive screen compared to today’s interactive, immersive tech like video games and social media. These newer platforms are designed to be addictive in ways that TV never was. And I wonder—did you binge other things your parents restricted, or was it just the TV? Often, when boundaries are explained and modeled with love, they actually help kids build self-control rather than create long-term cravings.
We’ve seen that when kids understand why something is limited and are given meaningful alternatives, they don’t just wait to rebel—they often thrive.
Thanks again for sharing!
We don't have a TV in our house, but I think it's helped that family movie nights, either with dvds we order or with a streaming option, are a time of connection and fun together. As parents, we pretty much never watch anything without our children. So unlike your dad watching it but not letting you, we are including them whenever we watch something. I think that makes a big difference.
Great that you are explaining it to your kids, that’s a critical piece in all of this. And some screen time is okay, as long as they have other interests and hobbies that they are more interested in than the screens.
Thanks, Melanie! Can you share the source for this stat? "90% of adult addictions start in adolescence." Thank you! PS I found this but it's specifically substance abuse disorders. Is that what you meant? https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7241222/#:~:text=Over%2090%25%20of%20adults%20with,impairments%20%5B3%E2%80%937%5D.
Yes! Adolescence is a time of critical brain development, and the adolescent brain is more vulnerable to the impact of drugs, alcohol, AND other addictions. 90% of Americans who are currently addicted started smoking, drinking, or using drugs before age 18. This (link) is a good read, too. All addictions follow the same pathway in the brain. https://time.com/archive/7141160/teens-and-drugs-rite-of-passage-or-recipe-for-addiction/